Divorcing couples with a joint mortgage typically sell the home, refinance the mortgage in one spouse's name or have one party buy out the other. Your divorce agreement should cover all possible scenarios to protect both parties from financial harm.
Under federal law, the servicer must generally send you a payoff statement within seven business days of your request, subject to a few exceptions. (12 C.F.R. § 1026.36.)
There's a consensus that women are worse off financially than men after divorce. In fact, some studies suggest that men can even be better off as they usually do not get custody of the children and hence exist as a single person household.
Whatever the reason, today's truth is that women, not men, take the financial hit in divorce -- and it takes years to recover. Multiple studies conducted over the last 10 years all demonstrate that a woman's income drops significantly after divorce, while a man's stays the same or increases.