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Instead, express that you don't want a divorce and you're willing to seek counsel. Then ask if your spouse will explore less drastic options. Mueller suggests a healing separation, which is working to build a different relationship since most people really don't want to divorce the person but the relationship as it is.
While filing for divorce first does not give you any inherent rights over your spouse, it does allow you more control over the situation from the beginning and could provide some strategic benefits.
Nearly 70 percent of divorces are initiated by the wife. In addition, over 50% of divorced wives never want to remarry while only about 30% of men express that same sentiment. Seeing as most divorces are initiated by women, men can use this statistic to make sure they are being mindful of their wives' needs and wants.
Disadvantages of Filing for Divorce First You Show Your Hand. As the filing spouse, you file the first document. This is called a Complaint for Divorce. ... You Pay More. Because you filed first you must serve your spouse with the Complaint for the divorce. To properly serve your spouse you will need a process server.