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An Order to Show Cause consists of a top page called an Order to Show Cause (OSC), followed by an Affidavit in Support of the OSC, and copies of any documents that the moving side (movant) thinks would help the Judge make a decision. The OSC tells the court and the other side what the movant wants the Judge to do.
The parties in most Family Court proceedings have the right to have a lawyer. You are free to hire a lawyer of your choosing. If your particular case is one where you have the right to a lawyer, but you cannot afford to pay for your own lawyer, then the court will usually assign one to the represent you.
The best policy is to file a modification petition. You will want your first court date to be prior to, but close in time to your daughter's 21st birthday. You will want to ask the Support Magistrate to issue a temporary order terminating support on her birthday. You can probably handle this on your own.
Yes, you can legally represent yourself in court. When you self-represent, it is known as pro se representation.
The Family Court is accepting child support modification petitions by email. Petitions can be emailed to NYFCSupport@nycourts.gov or sent by U.S. mail addressed to the appropriate county Family Court, or by calling 212-343-1122 (LIFT), 646-877-6050 (OCSS), or 646-386-5299 (Family Court) for assistance.