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The mother usually has custody of her child if she is not married when the child is born. The mother can make decisions for the child and has the right to take care of the child. The father can "acknowledge" paternity. This means he says he is the father.
Children who are considered legal adults (age 18 in most states) may always refuse to spend time with a parent. Technically, any child who is not yet a legal adult isn't allowed to refuse visitation.
Under Iowa law, in order for a party to be found in contempt, it must be proven that the party willfully violated the order. That is, the offending party knew the order existed, had the ability to comply with the order, and lacked just cause or excuse for violating the order.
665.7 Notice to show cause. In either case the offender may, at the offender's option, make a written explanation of the offender's conduct under oath, which must be filed and preserved.
In Iowa, you have to file an action against the other party to seek enforcement of the existing court decree order. The enforcement action is formally known as an Application for Rule to Show Cause, commonly referred to as a contempt filing. This filing brings the opposing party's bad acts to the court's attention.
If a party is found to have violated a court order, the court can find the party in contempt and may require the party serve up to 30 days in jail. The court also has alternative measures to try to gain the party's compliance with an order. See Iowa Code section 598.23.