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Lesson Summary. Confidentiality in mentoring involves responsibility by the mentor and the mentee to ensure that information discussed between the two should be treated with the utmost confidence. Confidentiality is important for the protection of both and for building a trusting relationship.
For example, many mentors set a boundary that they will not give or loan money to the mentee. If this is your boundary and your mentee asks for money for lunch, you might remind him that you are not comfortable lending money, but offer to pick up a sandwich for lunch if you are worried that she is hungry.
Address confidentiality within a written mentor/mentee agreement. It may be as simple as stating, in writing, what sensitive issues are off-limits for discussion or those which will be held in confidence. Both parties should stay true to whatever agreement is made, written or not. Over time, this will build trust.
To avoid this problem, the mentee and mentor should discuss boundaries at the onset of the relationship. Different people may have different ideas about what the boundaries should be. For instance, is it appropriate for a mentor to ask a mentee to give a talk that the mentor agreed to give?
Talk about your responsibilities, what you can and can't do. Agree on frequency, duration and intervals of meetings/communications and how this will occur.