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Dear [Name], Last night was hard for me. I can't even imagine how you must be feeling since I shared with you that I want a divorce. This was the most excruciating and important decision I've ever made, and I want you to know that I didn't make it overnight.
If you can't bring yourself to deliver the news yourself, or perhaps you are already separated, the first volley towards resolving it could be a letter to them letting them know you are seeking a divorce and setting out the terms and asking them to respond by a certain date to the lawyer.
Example Letter #1 I feel I should inform you that after several years of trying to reconcile our differences, John and I are separating. Our divorce will be final on June 30. His work abroad and mine in the theater have led us down two very different paths, and we both feel it best to go our separate ways.
What You Should Include in a Divorce Letter Start the letter with something like ?The previous night was tough on me. ... An explanation of your decision. ... How to proceed with the next steps. ... Your name, your spouse's name, and the date you sent the letter.
Use ?I? messages, not ?you? messages For example: ?I feel that I need to start a new life.? ?I feel that this marriage is not working for me.? Do not say, ?You never did your share. You were a lousy husband/wife.? etc. This can help to make the divorce conversation feel like less of an attack on your spouse.