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How to start the conversation about divorce Pick your words carefully. ... Prepare for all sorts of guilt to be laid on you. ... Prepare for an emotional response. ... Use ?I? messages, not ?you? messages. ... Be confident. ... Consider the children. ... Prepare the ground. ... Keep calm.
Example Letter #1 I feel I should inform you that after several years of trying to reconcile our differences, John and I are separating. Our divorce will be final on June 30. His work abroad and mine in the theater have led us down two very different paths, and we both feel it best to go our separate ways.
What You Should Include in a Divorce Letter Start the letter with something like ?The previous night was tough on me. ... An explanation of your decision. ... How to proceed with the next steps. ... Your name, your spouse's name, and the date you sent the letter.
Use ?I? messages, not ?you? messages For example: ?I feel that I need to start a new life.? ?I feel that this marriage is not working for me.? Do not say, ?You never did your share. You were a lousy husband/wife.? etc. This can help to make the divorce conversation feel like less of an attack on your spouse.
I am certain that despite our ongoing struggles, this feels surprising to you, and you are flooded with a million different emotions. I want you to know that I am committed to making the divorce process as civil and amicable as possible. We began in honesty. Let us end in it, too.